MILF 2 Us
Maybe It’s a Little Funny
Car accident
A lawyer returns to his parked BMW to find the headlights broken and his front bumper smashed. There’s no sign of the offending vehicle, but he’s relieved to see that there’s a note stuck under the windshield wiper. The lawyer picks up the note and reads: “Sorry. I just backed into your Beemer. The witnesses who saw the accident are nodding and smiling at me because they think I’m leaving my name, address and other particulars. But I’m not.”
7-10 foot hole
A man mowing his lawn has stumbled into a big hole.
The man discovered the hole when he was mowing his lawn. He started digging around the hole with water and rusty pipes in the bottom. It could be an old cesspit or a well. The man has blocked off the area. He have to remove the pipes and fill up the hole.
Deer hunting
Two guys are out hunting deer. The first guy says, “Did you see that?” The second guy says, “No.” “A bald eagle just flew overhead.” “Oh.” A couple of minutes later the first guy says, “Did you see that?” “No.” “There was a black bear walking on that hill over there.” “Oh.” A few minutes later the first guy says, “Did you see that?” The second guy, getting aggravated, says, “Yes, I did!” The first guy then says, “Then why did you step in it?”
Radioactive cat
A US driver was stopped on suspicion of being a terrorist after his radioactive cat was mistaken for a bomb.
Anti-terror cops use specialist radiation detectors on motorway traffic. They flagged down the man but a search of his car revealed only his cat. The animal had undergone radiotherapy for cancer a few days earlier.
Diamond ring
A guy bought his wife a beautiful diamond ring for Christmas. A friend of his said, “I thought she wanted one of those sporty 4-Wheel drive vehicles.” “She did,” he replied. “But where in the hell was I gonna find a fake Jeep?”